My Pen

The empty paper in-front of me with its large width and height and vast empty space between its colored lines, I’m preparing to have it filled. But, my pen just can’t seem to obey my will to write.

“I command you to write”  

I said with a loud voice coming from deep silence within, but it just does not seem to be willing to fill that vast space between the lines on my empty paper of thoughts and dreams. I understand that it doesn’t want to write as a sign of sadness to what’s going on inside my head. It keeps writing words and me at the end of the line put a full stop and then stretch a long line to erase what I wrote. It got bored from my excessive hesitation and confusion … maybe.

“Ok let’s make a deal. I promise I won’t tell you stop this time”

The words you’re reading now are my trial to persuade my pen’s ego to write, a trial to form a peace treaty between us.

“You forgot that I wrote with you all my glorious pieces of art, how fame was everywhere and fans gathered to catch their own printed copy, but forever your version was the most valuable.”

 It’s been few months now and I’m admitting to myself that am still facing this writer block, the silence between the words I write, the images that seem clichéd and the thoughts that just can’t break its cage. I understand my pen got fed-up from me trying to please everyone and not please myself with the words I want to say the most, I understand this and am trying to break the silence, but sometimes words are better left caged.

“Why stop now? I want to write you know, please don’t leave me alone in-front of this piece of paper, I know I broke my promise with you to always write and not to care for what people say, but sometimes life doesn’t go this way, sometimes people can’t handle the true words and they enjoy the clown life”

I know I promised my pen I won’t stop this time, but I just can’t seem to handle it now. I already broke my first promise. There’s a battle inside my head as am asking myself what to write and what not to write … Who cares anyway … I guess it’s about time for my pen to stop and for me to try again later.