Back to where i started

I'm back to where i started
i sailed the sees crossed the oceans
but the world is round
so i'm just back where i started
i set to sail around the globe
i tried to reach for home
but seems that am back where i started
tried to fly so high
spread my wings out and cry
but i ended where i started
it was a journey worth the take
and i feel am back to my lost state
i'm just back to where i started

Inspiron

Back to about one or two years ago mm.. or even more i still remember that planet rock show with Safi and it was the rock your mind hour .. you know when u hear a radio topic that you just can't resist leaving all what you do to think about it - it was one of those - he was talking about using just 3 words to describe all you've passed through in your life i remember SMSing the answer to that question after deep thought

1- Learning 2- Achieving 3- Changing

After all these days and these times since i last SMS'ed safi and the 3 words didn't change one of my hopes for the start of the year is to change # 3 from Changing to Inspiring i wish to reach the stable state of inner confidence .. i know it's impossible for anyone to reach that state but i just want to be close to it in a way that i can start the inspiring phase and that's one of my hopes for 2009 isA

النية

When i used to be in ACES last year i noticed that very small note the academic committee head always made sure that it's presence is clear everywhere they go it's just one simple word written with a smile النية yesterday while having my daily thoughts that word just flashed through my mind and everything seemed so clear to me at that very moment .. it's who we are and who we want to be and who we would be is related to that really simple word it's النية

"نقطة و من اول السطر"

when i used to be at school their used to be that really stupid dictation exams where the teacher just keeps dictating and we write what she says, i used to fear these exams more than anything wheather it's a "habby or happy " or other stupid spelling mistakes, but what i remember now so clearly is the word the teacher used to say to end a paragraph and start a new one she always used to say"نقطة و من اول السطر"
i realized these days that these words are just so deep it's just a point and you end a paragraph it's simply life or the phases we pass through they're just paragraphes in our lives and all we have to do is to start a new line and just say "نقطة و من اول السطر"

Step 7: Helping others

Step 7:It's not by necessary charity or whatever it is .. it's just the smile you can put on anyone's face whether they're close or far from you try always to be a helping hand and you won't regret it

Step 6:

Ask people around you for feedback it helps you to see the part of you that you can't see and the part of you, you don't expect to see.

i realized one thing from my so far one month of torture that many things just come to my face these days that i don't expect that guides me whenever i feel lost .. ex. let's say am thinking of why do i always feel bad about something and out of nowhere an answer comes through seeing someone or watching a quote .. nature helps i believe so far whenever i feel am giving up

HappYness

It can always be considered the best inspiring movie of all time it gave me guide to many things in my confused mind while i was watching it now it's the pursuit of humans it's the pursuit of happYness

Sacrifice concept

When I used to be in secondary stage there used to be that subject called economics and we used to have a teacher who used to make her lesson based on interaction I’ll always remember that lesson; it was like the introductory class for the whole syllabus and we talked about the definition of a need and how’s it essential to satisfy it with various means and we talked about another concept which I really recall now this concept was “Sacrifice” it says that to satisfy your need by a certain mean you have to take some sacrifices, if my life equation now is economics this concept would typically be applied to it the fear of sacrifice and it’s tough really to sacrifice something for something all when life doesn’t give you the chance to have it all …

Goodmorning sunshine

Good morning sunshine after the rain
A new day has come to live it with no pain
spread light on the city's heart and soul
it's no use to be alone anymore
Good morning sunshine after the night
it's been so dark and cold outside
now maybe it's time to rise and shine
leave all our yesterday's behind
Good morning sunshine, maybe it's just the time
For us to smile for a brand new day

Step:5 KYOB

After few days of my big month of change i realized a really important thing that change isn't that easy at all .. and one friend told me that you dont need to change at first place because you have to accept yourself as you're the idea is that my first steps toward change were too deep and too difficult for anyone it took me till now like two or three days of total give up to continue the change month .. but today i feel that i must carry on for many reasons because that would be a total failure and a failure ain't that good second i realized that the things am gonna change won't harm me it's just few decisions that has to be made it's not about changing my hair color or my way of dealing with others its about setting guidelines for the next at least year ...

KYOB: A term used by one of my friends it's the appreviation to Kick Your Own Butt maybe sometimes we just have to kick our own butts even though it's physically impossible but doing so is much better than having people kick yours .. so to carry on this month of change i decided to KMOB

Step 4:

realizing how important step 3 is :D and getting to know much more about myself it was all so messed up in my mind when i did something i always feared and got through it i just feel that i have a total shift of paradigm i feel i can do many things the idea of having a month of change seems to be working well so far i just need to get it more organized

Step 4 : Preparing for change (shifting paradigms)

Step 3:

Step 3: Doing the things i've been always afraid to do that's a good thing to do really so if you can try anything you've been always afraid to try just let it go and you got nothing to lose today i just tried that thing and i don't know where will it lead me :) but all i know is that i feel happy

2- Defining

Step2 : Defining

-what are the things you want to change in your life?

the things in (*) won't be shared in the blog :)

1-Be closer to God

one of the things i really lack these days is being not as close as possible to God or at least as i used to be maybe it's not that i'm away it's that the world am in these days is such a busy world with high hopes i have i get too busy to just at least stop and stare i have no time to even get focused as i used to be long time ago.

2-Have a clear vision

Even though this year is way much better than last year concerning my vision definition but still it needs some modifications due to certain errors and certain feeling that it could be better and stronger .. i've lived all my life searching for a vision and at last i reached a good point these days that i'm proud of but somehow i just need more defined and clearer one.

3-Make clear decisions concerning them (*)
4-Stop bad stuff (*)
5-combat my fear concerning .... (*)

6-Have inner satisfaction

i guess if i solved the upper mentioned points i'll reach a state of inner satisfaction i want to reach a life balance that when i lay my head on my bed i feel satisfied with everything i did , i want not to blame myself for things i didn't do i just want to reach that state of inner satisfaction

7-Be proactive and step forward

I guess i won't be a great person in life if i keep my head under the pillow and not be proactive enough and show the world my quality i want to take many steps forward into life .. i just wanna be a person of trust and able to work in any environment maybe you won't understand a thing from that ... but i understand :)

why i'm writing this here ?

1- I know that nearly no one still checks that blog (a)
2- I believe i got nothing to be ashamed of all i want to do is try to reach a total state of change and achieve my year's goal it's like an experiment am trying it on myself and if it succeeds maybe i can help many other people.

"When we lie on our beds and thinking we're about to die , we won't regret things we did but we'd regret things we didn't" Randy paush

this quote keeps nudging in my head :)

each day i'll try to work on one of the points mentioned above and change them in the 1 hour of self discovery i assigned everyday till the end of 2008.