Where's my shoe ?

Have you ever stopped by yourself in the middle of the street and asked yourself where's my shoe. I remember i used to have this dream of walking bare feet in the street and it always woke me up in bad mood i never understood the meaning of this dream and never will be because some thoughts in our head can't be explained.

But can you ask yourself what if this happen, you actually find yourself in the street with no shoe, how would it feel and how embarrassing would that be .. just think of it for a moment and continue reading.

Now, they always have the saying put yourself in others shoe to see them more clearly or understand the situation more clearly but what about my shoe has no one asked what's its size color or even make did i choose it or someone else did so for me .. am i wearing the right shoe for the right journey or i got the first shoe available to wear .. what if it doesn't suit me or looks nice in my feet what if i got lost with it.

Maybe sometimes in life while running in the middle of the noisy streets and the angry voices and sparkling cars. You have to stop for just one moment .. and ask yourself where's my shoe because maybe you lost it along the road.

Next ?

When i used to be at school like few years ago there used to be a radio show called "Know Thy Self" with Dr.Sahar El Mogy and i still recall this episode so much. She was talking about reaching the success point that you feel you got nothing more to give. Like for instance if your ultimate dream was to be a successful writer and you actually become one of the most successful writers ,the question that will come to your mind always is what's next and she said sometimes it brings many people down achieving their wildest dream cause afterwards they feel they got nothing more to give and nothing more to work for.

When i used to go to school i used to work so hard to go to college .. at college i used to work so hard to graduate .. after graduation i worked so hard to get a good job .. but now the question that's stuck in my head right now at this moment really is "What's next ?" is this what i really want or maybe i can dream for something more. What's the real aim for me being here on earth .. i'm not seeking answers now but as i always say its good to know the question even if we don't know the answers.

الحمد لله

The ellie badge

As if it was those moments that were going to bring him back to life, the old music ringing in his head and a questions runs so deep What if ? and what if not ?

Keep walking

Let's go back in time back back to the most back time slot you can imagine. Let's go back to the day the first human landed on this planet and discovered himself in this wide area of nowhere. The first thing he did was walking. The first thing his children did was just walking , back then all they could do was just walk and discover their surrounding area. So they kept walking and walking till they found water and they were like this is it this is the end of the earth and there is no where else to go. Few hundred years later wanting to unveil the unknown someone or somebody somehow noticed that he can throw some woods on the sea and can sail to the unknown, I wonder how it felt for the first person to ride the waves and sail into the sea felt .. but what am sure of what that person was doing is actually walking, but beyond the boundaries.Beyond the limits we could imagine back then.

Few hundred years later a crazy guy thinks that the earth is a round planet and decides to sail around the world, trying to prove his -crazy- thoughts so he set a ship and lands on a land which later on becomes the world's number one economy, the guy dies without even knowing that he discovered a new land.But all what he was doing was just walking.Trying to go beyond the boundaries trying to prove there's something more for this land we've landed upon.

Few thousand years later a crazy organization decides to send a space ship to space it wants instead of walking horizontally to unveil the vertical land and a man lands on the moon and raises the American flag - the land that was discovered - then we discover that there are 9 planets revolving around the sun and that we're not alone and we're not just a planet there are billions like us.

And the thought that comes to my mind is Us through all these years we're just walking. It seems that the map will never be totally revealed because if you reveal the whole map the game will be over .. i wonder what few thousand years from now will be like what will the human race discover more than what they discovered more galaxies stars planets and maybe lives on other planets.

But the only common action throughout all these years for human beings that made all the difference ...... is that they just kept walking.

The Far Space (2)

So it turned out that someone is asking the same questions of Ellie from the movie Contact whether it's only us or there's someone else.I discovered that Ellie is an inspired character from this speech and there's a real person spending her life sensing signals and waiting for the far space message.

I always ask myself this question are we alone and if not that would be really an awful waste of space.We all tend to live and fight kill and suffer on this planet while if all humans understood for one moment that we're so small to waste our lives fighting and suffering, things would be totally different.But the question what's really out there .. is it just us or maybe our narrow space of mind can't even imagine what's out there. 

Maybe as small as we're in this universe is as small as our brain capabilities for finding the answers.

The meaning

The thoughts in my head these days are running way faster than expected. Dreams hopes fears and every stupid thought that can come to your head is in my head right now.

The meaning .. the meaning to our lives and the meaning for us being here in this life.A tough question why do we keep running everyday searching for meaning and sometimes we create one but is it the one we need.

The meaning .. is my question for myself for the next period because it feels that my life is meaningless.

The Far Space

Young Ellie: Dad, do you think there's people on other planets?

Ted Arroway: I don't know, Sparks. But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space.

Interview Question

Interviewer : What's your biggest life achievement ?
Me: pause 10 seconds (realizing the fact i was sleepless for the past week)
Me: Being here now am just satisfied with everything i did to make it here now  الحمدلله

That something

I don't know what i'm waiting for but i'm waiting for something, i don't know which way to go but there must be a story left for me in that road towards something, and as time goes by and people come and go you still wait and dream of that something, it's not that big i know and it's not that small it's a simple hope i always longed for, the story of waiting and hoping isn't new at all it's just a simple thought and a simple memory recall.

That days come and go we may be waiting and we may not but in the end of the day we're all hoping .. hoping for that something or in other words that someone.

The pen

I hold my pen and the words don't seem to flow like they used to do, something is wrong something is missing and some stuff I just can't understand.

Some hopes are real and others are just slipping away from my hands and at the end of the day i hold my pen and i just can't seem to understand.


Why my thoughts can't flow and whose words is those written by my hands.

The Shadow

I know only your shadow,

It seems enough for me.

I can give it the details that can set me free.

I know only your shadow,

It makes me feel fine.

I am falling in love with a shadow,

The empty shadow of you.

A new entry

Sometimes all you want to do is just add a new entry, rather than just a blog post you just want to add an entry, an entry or part of your story that you want to share.. just a new entry in your life.

I haven't added new entries lately to my blog eventhough my life was full of new entries and old entries full of changes, passions and the most important more dreams.For a moment or two all you can do is just stop and look at those entries in your life all you want to do is to see them feel them and more than this all enjoy them.

Will he give up?

"So you can write?" asked the old man, it seemed as if he liked what i wrote. I can't fail this time it seems to be my last chance, it's been more than one year since i started searching for someone to support my work and it's always been the same a door closed with a smile. It takes a lot of courage to quit everything in your life to start following your passion sometimes i regret the chances that passed the other way of the road, but there seemed to be always a way through as if a light was guiding my way. With my papers in his hand,the old man simply says "I'm sorry".

Identity

The identity of a human or what defines us. Is it what we really do or what we really learn .. is it these stories we leave untold or the stories we live and dream about. I was thinking about identity few days ago and what came to my mind is that old story that i still can remember and can relate much to the topic title which is "Identity".

Back in 5th primary stage, we had a library class and what the teacher decided to do is to make an open discussion and the discussion was about 1 question "Do you think your mothers shall go to work or just stay home?" and the question was left open for discussion, at my age back then all i could do is just observe how kids reacted to the question. And after the discussion ended i noticed that the kids that supported the mothers case to go to work was those who had their mothers work .. and similarly those whom their mothers didn't work, didn't support the case.

When i remembered this example i started to realize that the major changes in any one's life is based on those who teach them and these surrounding environment and events that takes place in their life. Which leaves me more confused with an open ended question .. then what makes us and what defines us .. in other words what gives us our identity?

Kids' story

One of the things i really enjoy while running in the club is watching the small kids playing whether in the playground or in the kinder garden area ... it's always beautiful to see how these kids act and react to you passing through them.

But today i stopped by a bunch of kids something like primary school kids and they seemed to be having a fight and i was really interested in hearing the conversation.

Kid X : أنا خلاص مش عايز أكلمك تانى

Kid Y : وانتا فاكر نفسك مين انا مش هكلمك تانى

Kid X: مش هتكلمنى تانى طيب ابقى شوف مين هيصاحبك اصلا

Kid X & Z: يلا نمشى ونسيبه لوحده كده

The funny thing is that when we grow up we forget our kidish nature i wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing i mean we all have arguments with each other but we don't say the words we want to say to each other, deep inside us we talk like (kid X Y Z) but we don't show it we just keep hiding .. i still believe in a matter of days things will go fine with (kid X Y Z) cause at the end they know why they fought for at first place.

The beautiful thing about children is that they're so simple and they're so HUMAN in what the word means .. they jump when they want to jump they cry when they feel bad and they run when they want to run ... they smile when you pass through them and they keep walking around trying to discover the weird neighborhood in the club, but as they grow up they keep walking around more often trying to discover the weird mysteries of life.