The Pathetic Ocean

There used to be an ocean far away from here , where people just go and weap infront of it
everyday people would go and cry till the tears mix with the rain and the demons fire get extinguished by the ocean breeze, and then people would come and go after being washed away from their pain and sorrow. No one till now knows why it was called the pathetic ocean, maybe because people who go there are so pathetic to do anything but cry their tears out along its waves and under its rainy sky

There she came and took her sorrows inside her bag and went were people told her she should go,
along the shore she started to cry beside those who were crying and then started feeling the relief she missed long ago, seems like the perfect place and the perfect retreat she was looking for along the shore of the pathetic ocean, she kept on crying until the memories started running away from her head to toe and the pain seemed the only thing that was left to go and there she's crying the hardest for some reasons she know and others she didn't know. At this very moment, she forgot who she were or what she did. Just a moment of reflection beside the pathetic ocean where people come and go and they no longer feel pathetic, demotivated or lost , where the beauty of nature and the water from heaven fall from the sky to wash away all that was left behind, there she stood bare feet looking at the sky and the ocean in-front her. After few hours she took her empty bag and got her shoes on and went back home, there her past stood by the
door and asked her where she's been, she said crying in-front of the pathetic ocean.

There are no words that can be as descriptive to how am feeling on earth now as those few lines. Those are the starting lines of the Novel (Movie) : The Perks Of Being A Wallflower 

12-12-12 (Are we there yet?)

This blog used to be called the voice within , because i thought i won't share what is in it with anyone and consequently it ended up spreading between everybody i know. In the end here i am with several empty blog posts, The fever of writing decayed dramatically by the effect of knowing that he/she will be reading it , he/she that i meet at work or outdoors, but this blog post is special , it brings me back to the real me to the voice within.

Ok where shall we start back to the days when i was a kid i used to dream of the future with all its tiny details things that could happen, the dreaming phase of my life started very long ago even back to the primary stage days when kids used to play football i used to sit in that little corner looking at them and thinking of the future and future as always can be expressed by numbers ; numbers that express days years and moments .. moments that we live and we can never forget , back to those days i used to believe that the future is so far away to even imagine it with all its details, calculations were made in my head always ended on that day 12-12-12 this day was so special to me simply because back then when i used to calculate my status it ended up that i'd be 24 years old and oh boy 24 years old was a digit a very big digit to me back then , i used to believe that by being 24 years everything would be perfect and the pieces of puzzle would have been complete pieces like i got a job i got a car , i even got engaged finished college , questions about how would my life look like at this age was one of the most complex questions and motivating ever since then.

Even when i grew older and several moments of my life in this world  used to end up by mathematical calculations to that day 12-12-12 , that day which is actually today ! yup that awkward moment when you realize that today is actually 12-12-12 and a question that pops to my mind at this exact moment (Are we there yet?)  Did time pass so quickly or we didn't live life to the fullest , why was this day popping in my mind to be so special and am i there yet to where i dreamed i'd be ? Here i am 24 years old but are we there yet ? why was the peak of my dreams is to be what i am already today , why didn't they teach us to dream bigger larger than the normal. Why is it while being kids no one ever taught us to dream bigger than just being normal. Why did my mathematical calculations end up today and couldn't go further.

Maybe today will be a really good day to just sit and reflect and as usual ask myself questions about where i am and where i wanted to be and where i want to be , maybe those special days in our lives that are marked in our memories are meant to be for this reason which is reflecting, may God guide us to the correct destination and to be honest looking back at my life today it's been a worth the ride journey الحمد لله.

New chapter (22-2-22) ......