Sand Castles

He took off his slippers at the entrance gate, he moves and starts to feel the shiver beneath his feat up to his eyes; the moment he sets eyes on the vast blue sea. The sun is about to rise and nearly no one is as early as him to watch this view. He keeps walking and alongside his thoughts are childhood memories that lasted each summer at the same place, he could hear the horns of the past, the smile of the neighbors and the loud call from his father.

"Come here to build together a sand castle" His father's voice is still ringing in his ears and he still moves with hesitant steps towards the sea getting closer and closer as water starts to greet his bare feet. His white hair starts to move along the wind and starts to see his reflection on the water, his firm looks mixed with the wisdom of years he spent in his life. At this moment, for the first time he starts to realize how time passed so fast as the winds keep hitting his face and suddenly he decides to give up the thought and throw himself on the sand and with his face facing the sea in-front of him, he feels like a video tape is being played on his cinema of life, he starts hearing words like.

" Congratulations, you're now a doctor" 
" Congratulations, you can kiss the pride" 
" Congratulations, you're now a father"

He takes a deep sigh of pain and relief, and starts building sand castles as he always used to do as a kid, the thought that he can go back in time engrave his heart. The sun starts to rise and reflections start falling on his childish work of art, he remembers each moment now clearly. How life can seem so complex while so simple as a sand castle with all its gates, but at any moment a small amount of sea water can blow everything away. How when he was a child used to build sand castles and imagine his future,his dreams and his fears. He always used to ask questions like what would i be? , who would i marry? and how would my life turn out to be? And used to represent each question with a castle in his big sand castles of life and dreams. And here he's answering the questions he always longed for its answers .. question by question, castle by castle.

"Father, why are you up so early" He hears a childish voice in the background. yet,not able to differentiate between his memories and reality. He turns his face and see his son looking at him straight to the eyes.

"I am the one who should ask you why are you up so early" He said.

With a smile his son replies "You told me, you're going to teach me today how to build sand castles"

Death and all his friends

Death and all his friends, after searching about this Coldplay song meaning, it turned out that the main reason for this song is optimism and that we shouldn't be following the path of death and all his friends.

I'm tired of waking up everyday to a news that someone died , someone i never knew but was so close to heart that it hurts so bad through your ears, lungs, soul and finally your eyes can start to show tears that you try so hard to hide. This year i feel am reading everyday about death and all his friends, fear, anger and pain.

And the thought leads me to more terrible thoughts, the problem i found is that not me only who has this feeling, it's spreading in the whole generation veins like blood. Maybe death is the only fact we have to face one day ... The thought from a positive side can bring you this inner peace, that what could be worse than death to fear and you feel that you're so ready to face it. The thought itself is leading me to many answers to questions i never understood. So ending up with Coldplay words.

 So come over, just be patient, and don't worry 
So come over, just be patient, and don't worry

الهم ارحمنا اذا صرنا الى ما صاروا اليه

The Coffee Shop

He starts to look at his watch, the seconds arm is moving too slow for him, he keeps looking and looking but it's just buried in its slow motion and silent ticks. He moves his eyes towards the door, still no one comes in except weird faces he's never seen before. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion for him as every second that pass took its decision to torture him.It's already 10 minutes away from 1 pm. He wished she'd come early but seems that she won't. And the toughest assumption of all, if she don't come at first place.

" I invite you to coffee at 1 pm at the coffee shop you told me about"

 He remembers how he told her those words mixed with a feeling of hope and fear. How he stumbled upon her car door and every inch of his body was shivering.The fear of rejection was the only thing he could see in her eyes and without giving her lips the chance to reply he said.

"I'll be waiting for you" 

And he just turned his back and started walking away not giving her the chance to give him a solid reply. He starts to look at the people coming in/out of the place and with every person a heart beat mixing with a clock tick rocks his heart. It's already 1:00 pm now and as the people talk and the music gets louder no one could hear his silent looks or his worries, he starts wasting his time by counting the number of people in the place, play games on his mobile, but every single action seems like eternity.

It's 1:10 pm and a sign of failure starts to overlook his face, he smiles a desperate smile and say to his aching soul.

"At least I tried" 

He takes on his jacket carries his wallet shuts his mobile phone and leaves towards the door, at this very moment he could see her face sparkling all over the place, surrounding the environment with joy. with a shy smile she looks at him and say.

"Sorry, I'm late"

My Pen

The empty paper in-front of me with its large width and height and vast empty space between its colored lines, I’m preparing to have it filled. But, my pen just can’t seem to obey my will to write.

“I command you to write”  

I said with a loud voice coming from deep silence within, but it just does not seem to be willing to fill that vast space between the lines on my empty paper of thoughts and dreams. I understand that it doesn’t want to write as a sign of sadness to what’s going on inside my head. It keeps writing words and me at the end of the line put a full stop and then stretch a long line to erase what I wrote. It got bored from my excessive hesitation and confusion … maybe.

“Ok let’s make a deal. I promise I won’t tell you stop this time”

The words you’re reading now are my trial to persuade my pen’s ego to write, a trial to form a peace treaty between us.

“You forgot that I wrote with you all my glorious pieces of art, how fame was everywhere and fans gathered to catch their own printed copy, but forever your version was the most valuable.”

 It’s been few months now and I’m admitting to myself that am still facing this writer block, the silence between the words I write, the images that seem clichéd and the thoughts that just can’t break its cage. I understand my pen got fed-up from me trying to please everyone and not please myself with the words I want to say the most, I understand this and am trying to break the silence, but sometimes words are better left caged.

“Why stop now? I want to write you know, please don’t leave me alone in-front of this piece of paper, I know I broke my promise with you to always write and not to care for what people say, but sometimes life doesn’t go this way, sometimes people can’t handle the true words and they enjoy the clown life”

I know I promised my pen I won’t stop this time, but I just can’t seem to handle it now. I already broke my first promise. There’s a battle inside my head as am asking myself what to write and what not to write … Who cares anyway … I guess it’s about time for my pen to stop and for me to try again later.

First Dance

As i see her tears fall down on her soft cheeks, i start to wonder why they're falling. I can see people walking in all directions but i can't stop looking at her face, she seems to be crying her heart out. I try to uncover her sadness with a faded smile but she ignores me, she just keeps on crying and walking alongside the crowd. The streets are covered with flags and cameras just won't stop flashing. I start to realize that they're all crying from the bottom of their hearts. I reach for the youngest child in the crowd holding his little flag and eating cotton candy and ask him "What's going on here ?" , he just looks at me with a childish smile and starts waving the flag harder. I start hearing speeches and words that sounds so close to the heart like "La Illah Illa Allah" and a deep shiver keeps rocking me. I don't know why but i feel so light and weightless and without any understanding i just keep walking along the crowd and my eyes can't stop falling on her face. It's my first time since i knew her to see her that angry from inside, how the rage just make her face lifeless, i remember how we met for the first time at college and how eyes talked louder than words and how every word seemed to be useless with our secret language of love. The last time i called her was yesterday , still her words ringing in my ears "Please don't go out today" and i remember how i told her that for what's life worth , if we keep on living in fear. I remember i told her not to worry , what's the worst that could happen." If i die, i'll go to heaven and we'll have our first dance there" and these words ended the discussion. Those were the last words i tell her , but i can't seem to remember exactly what happened afterwards. All i remember is that i went out with friends to a protest.

I start to understand now where i am, am actually inside that dark box covered with the Egyptian flag, it's dark from inside the same as yesterday , foggy smoke and bullet shots were all over the place. I can't remember who or where but all i remember is the loud screams that turned to silence , the fire lights that suddenly turned to darkness, the warmth of the square to the cold of the soul. And here i am being held by the crowds going to face my fate. I feel warm and happy as the future start to unleash in-front of me, i see that little child holding the cotton candy carrying on what we started and i see peace , gardens and butterflies all over this place.

I take a deep breath as i start to see sounds from heaven calling my name, I urge them for one last wish, i try walking but i can't, i just keep on flying till i reach her ears and i whisper "Still waiting to have our first dance"